How Can I Stop Expecting Too Much of People?

Apparently, I expect too much of people. Someone close to me pointed it out.

I often say that nobody is perfect, but when it comes to work I am involved in, my expectations apparently rise, and I get huffy when reality falls short. All while conveniently overlooking my own shortcomings. What a terrible person I am.

Worse, I have a rationale for it: wouldn’t expecting nothing of someone be disrespectful? I wish I could see a spectrum rather than just On or Off, but whenever I find myself in that situation, the idea slips my mind entirely.

There are areas where this is less likely to happen, though. When something has nothing to do with my work, I can observe it calmly. Even when it does concern my work, I can be calm once there is nothing anyone can do to change the outcome.

So perhaps when I am still taking something seriously, I don’t want to cut corners. The mistake is demanding the same of other people. Like an earnest class representative spinning their wheels. Almost endearing.

A common job interview question asks how you would influence someone you have no authority over and achieve a goal. The stock answer is to understand their goals, share your own, and discuss how you can work together. Here too, I suppose I need to try to understand the person I find difficult, deepen my understanding of myself, accept our uneven edges for what they are, and calmly consider what we can do from there. But when someone keeps directing 💩-like attitudes and remarks at me, I struggle to feel that kind of compassion. My heart is too small.

Seen that way, indifference probably is a good way to avoid expecting too much. But I have spent so much of my working life charging toward the finish line like a racehorse that I can’t imagine suddenly becoming that way.

I want to know the secret to feeling compassion for everything. I want a filter that makes everyone look like a newborn.